TO WED OR NOT TO WED

Got this from adibah noor fanclub group member; marina,

Those who are still single may learn something from here....Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve yourmarriage....

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,"It depends. Is that your husband?"In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and likedtheir idiosyncrasies.Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was acompletely natural and spontaneous experience.You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standingthere; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TOYOU.Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.

It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone callsbecome a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome(whenit happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,drive you nuts.The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference betweenthe initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angrysubsequent stage.At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoriaofthe love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience withsomeone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame theirspouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage forfulfillment.Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, afriendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. Youcould.And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation afew years later. Because (listen carefully to this):THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THERIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make"itday in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor oflove."Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, ittakes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specificthings you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with yourmarriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),thereare also laws for relationships.

Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results arepredictable...you can "make" love.Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Me: Well..true true very true..communication is the key..using language and body language... susah susah memang susah... we women always expect the man to read their mind.. and the man will say im not a mind reader...and then the ' conversation' will go on and on and on...Difficult but possible..sometimes ego is the problem. but what i'm not satisfied about this issue is always the women likes to discuss about thiis issue, I rarely see and listen any man would discuss about it...do you? why aah..? not priority kot... {DEDICATED TO ALL MY CLOSE FRIEND AND X-CLOSE FRIEND ;)]

QUE SERA SERA... PEACE

Foreign workers in Malaysia

I have read about other blogs that criticised the government on many issues, particularly on the land developer matters, the price hikes matters, the AP's, the unnecesary spending, the whole political agenda including fees, tax, bribery..et cetera And i have to say that most of the critics makes sense but i also believe no government is perfect. What I need most here is peacefulness and harmony and most of all security in this country.

My issues here are about the foreign workers in this country http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/archive.asp?y=2006&dt=0621&pub=utusan_malaysia&sec=rencana&pg=re_09.htm&arc=hive According to this article, by the year 2010 there are going to be 5 millions of them here. legally...Illegally? tak kira lagi. Generally, they are ok, but [i dont have the statistic ( i will find out )] some percentage of them are prone to be involve in crime of course not just between them, but to us all. Not to say that Malaysians didnt commit any crime, but some foreigners contribute and this is my most fear.I feel unsecured. this is part of my reasons of not having a maid, beside i cant afford to have one. For a maid, I had to have RM4000, and then every month after 3 months 'probation' rm400 and that not including her food, her utility usage, a bit of entertainment and handphone - all this is to make her happy to live with us and work. If you dont provide some of these adequately, then you risk having your children to be taken care by them, your belongings suddenly missing, your security ( have to buy pulak cctv ) and your heartache and stress ( if they are not competent or not within your standard )...but of course if you are very lucky, than this wont happen, some employers get the one who is healthy, honest, hardworking, obedient and didnt talkback. To get this set of attitude maybe 1 out of 10/20..I dont know, as so far most of my friends keep changing their maids and complaint complaint complaint. Within 3 months you can change your maid for free if you're not satisfied..but after that 3 months if you want to change than rm4000 more. ( I hope im correct, or is it you change 3 times not within 3 months - something like that ) and the 4th one we have to pay again.. this is through legal agencies.. illegal agencies?..hmm..dont want to write about it...Well, basically, if you want to pay less , you knowlah the quality, pay at the right price pun .. problem..

See this foreigners, they are hardcore people, they went thru hardships to the extend of living their babies behind to be taken care by others. This courage I admire. and they work very hard here to earn with lesser pay than the locals. and that is why the locals who is still choosy have to compete with them. and some of these locals are complaining of not having jobs! Why?..ask yourself..

The positive courage is good, but the negative courage...that make me shiver. This is the price that all of us have to pay when this country becomes developing country. Imagine millions of foreigners ( illegals ) strikes in the US incident happen to our country. Here, they manage to have a land and built a big house and make babies whom will be voters in future. and we the locals..stay in small apartments... Complaining.. nonono ;-)

So..Government, please do something about this.. dont ask me details as i'm not an economists ( although I have been taught the micro and macro - I didnt score pun on these subjects ). I should only suggest that the authorities could create more opportunities for us and control the arrival of immigrants by checking every single detail about them before letting them in. Above all, all we need safety and security, than everybody will be fairly happy. ( Later, I will list down my ideas of opportunities for the local and will try to compile the statistics from various bodies )

Brazil 3: 0 Ghana..support Ghana altho know that Brazil will win hehe

PEACE

'sTeViE WoNdEr

Got this from azniehasnie..tenkiu..hillarious!

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend €2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)
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3. OK.... So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
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4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
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5. There are three religious truths:A. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.B. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.C. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
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6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
7. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
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8. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
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11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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12 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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13. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
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14. Do Barry's Tea employees take coffee breaks?
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15. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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16. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.
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17. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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18. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
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19 If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
20. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
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21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
22. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
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23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together it spells"THEIRS"?

PEACE

FIFAzzzzzzzzz

Makan Bola Tidur Bola Mandi Bola

I like to watch football..why? because my father likes to watch football with all the screaming and cheering it makes everyone smile in the family. I dont play football tho..Why? because my father don't teach me how to play football, being a star of his team during his younger days he certainly not keen to ask me to join him playing as at his time theres no such thing as women footballers. Therefore I watch football with no specific favourite team to cheer on only the ones that wins/won like the brazillians, the argentinians, germans, frenchees, portugal, Italy and for clubs like Real, MU, Chelsea and Liverpool would be my bet. And I also didnt know the rules especially when suddenly it was 'outside' or suddenly they get yellow card or red card, well some I can guess why the cards are out but some leaves me blinking. So you see, the best football scenes is of course the 'Goal!' part.

So it left me thinking why are these football heroes are so good and soooo fast... I am most certainly dont have the clue as I dont know the coaching system. But I assume 1. Football is their way of life. 2. The supporters tho fanatics, that geared them to play better 3. They can make loads of money when playing football and be a star.

So that explain why my country's team is sucks, none of those three criteria is within the industry of our football. in fact most sports that requires strength and endurance has never been consistant. But does it matter for our country as physical sports only last maximum 36 years of age. and after that maybe you wouldn't make money to play football. Not worth it for some, especially for hopeful parents or family to a man/woman of being able to support / feed their family at least until the age of 55.Well of course after 36, you might be offered to be a coach but not all I think, the rest will be employed in private or government sector.

I was never really a sportswoman anyway, I thought I was strong but I was never chosen ;) My two eyes colloboration is bad, though in college i played netball and basketbal ( coincidently ). The least I can have fun is to play is pool/snooker, badminton and bowling.My best is always the music, I can play the organs, clarinets and a bit of piano drums and guitar. So I guess i dont understand the enthusiasm of being a sports person although i always have semangat to watch Olympics and all, I think that bit of a feelings came from my parents.

Back to football, like I said i prefer to watch the good teams if not I end up zzzzzzz infront of the TV. just a few nights ago I manage to stay up and really watch and make sure theres junk foods infront of me. If no junk food... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... But looking at the supporters WOW..they are sooo good, and I dont think everyone of them plays football. Espescially the Koreans, the Italians, the frenchees...and that is why I said those footballers are good... as their supporters are very good. Let say Malaysia manage to get to the World Cup, I don't think we will have that many supporters , I don't think we are enthusiastic to even go and watch the match live. I don't know..maybe we change. As we always shout Malaysia Boleh...I take that positively. To some the Malaysia Boleh is always a joke when the government at times act like a joker. For me the Malaysia Boleh keeps us united, if we keep being pessimistic about it, than too bad we dont belong to this country.

My mission in the month of July - to stay up and watch the quarter finals, semi finals and the finals.

Eat ball (football) Sleep ball (football) Bathe ball ( football)..hehe

Que Sera Sera

..Andddddd after marriage...u have to have kids right, sooner or later...and this one pulak you have to actually plan when and how many..Well they say first baby don't plan, afraid it would take you too long to have it..

Ahhh.. Well...in our society again...marriage is one issue..having kids is another issue..when you get married and you dont have kids...people will ask..when when when...if u stay in urban areas and have less erderly or relatives to lias with don't no problem , no questions demand to be answered. Buttt if you are living in those society and work in those society then you will hear assumptions, suggestions, unthoughtful questions. Undeniably, theres people who care and offered help. Up to you to accept it or not. If u dont agree with whatever around you say then just ignore and smile. No point arguing..mainly because when you're not married than people ask or they say they pray one day you will get married ( they meant well ) you become sensitive about it and then when you dont have kids yet and then same scenario, you become extra sensitive about it..then after that you end up loosing friend.. and you only befriended people who dont ask this questions...so no point arguing just act accordingly.

In my case, it took me 4 years to get pregnant, and I am actually very thankful for the time given by God for us to enjoy our life first before shouldering bigger commitments. As the baby came out, my whole life is totally a different scenario, much more challenging, higher stress level, problems ( this is due to our lack of planning - management issue again ). Suddenly no friend, no relative..Tired, temperimental... I brought up my baby and now my babies myself, funny..nobody offered help..not complaining...my choice..but you know...' the society'. Cant afford to have a maid. If i were to bring my children to the playground I smile and speak to maids not moms unlike my childhood days. Maids is another national issue, will discuss later. There are moms who works so hard and leave the children with the maid, moms who dont work and leave her kids ( go out and have fun with friends as they couldnt face the fact that they have kids to take care of), moms who are sooo lucky that their mom wants to take care care of their kids, moms who let the older sibling to take care of her brother and sister and stuck to the internet at home ( like me hehe )..and a lot of other ways to take care of your OWN kids. I decided to write about this when I mingguan malaysia today and came across this issue http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2006&dt=0618&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Keluarga&pg=ke_02.htm about will you actually be happy when you have so many kids and hope that when they grow up they will take care of you. Moral of the story don't pamper your children and don't hope too much.

My point of view is..quality not quantity. I decided to stop having kids as per now until we earn like rm20000 a month then I can only have another one. if not..no way. I am very proud of myself to actually take care of my own kids and see them grow. Do the best that I can to make them become a normal human being. But with all the technology nowadays that can easily influence our kids, you never know. Therefore parents have to prepare themself when they get older and dont hope so much that your children will take care of you when you are alone, old, and sick. If they do..than Thank God. Parents have to have enough money to pay others to take care of themselves, just incase. Meanwhile pray for kesejahteraan anak-anak..so that in future they appreciate you and never stop loving you, no matter what kind of person you will be when you're older..you know..grumpy, sick, senile...

Nowadays they're certain society that sent their folks at the..old folks home... while the children work, migrate etc etc..and I cannot accept that.. I pray that I wont act like that to my parents, now Im a parent I understand how they feel..it is sad..sad..to be taken care by others you barely knew.

PEACE

MMMMMARRIAGE

"i am human and i need to be love"... I am human - song

Actually i am 'quite' shock to read about the official divorce of our beautyqueen Erra Fazira and our 'quite-hunk-singer-which-dont have-good-singing-voice)Yusry..3 divorces in a row this year for our local artists, one cancelled, almost immediately after.
Well for Erra and Yusry, easy, no kids, so don't have to answer to anyone who don't understand, but still..although I am not their fans at all, I feel sad as they look like a perfect couple, they are an icon to some teenagers and young adults. We are not like Hollywood stars, we somehow maintain our values and dignity. They had this BIGGGG Wedding...It was the Wedding of the year..but it end up...that way.
Its the second ( officially announce ) 'failure' of Erra's lovelife. Sometimes I wonder why pretty and glamourous people have this kind of problem.. I mean generally..not all... I am not pretty thats why I dont understand...Naturally when you're pretty , beautiful.. your life will become easier, easy to make money, can marry the hunk that u like, all that stuff.. Nowadays beautiful woman have brains...not like last time...So, they have brains, and still...What are their biggest challenge actually?...I asked before but they have not give me a definite answer.. beautiful plus ego maybe...and I am not close enough with them. Or maybe since they are beautiful and have money..they have choice..

Well I can only assume that it is a matter of management. Marriage is a management from both husband and wife... balance is the key. Not easy, One person can do everything and can think of everything but they cant manage marriage, even a relationship.. as marriage and relationship involve emotions, attitude towards each other is very important. The most basic is to respect each other and the utmost basic is to love each other. But like everybody say it is fated...

Sincerely, marriage for me is not easy.. if no two way communication..thats it..furthermore unlike the western, here..we're also married to their family, so have to take care of so many hearts..and at this age.. parents also getting old..everybody is at emotional state..and ughhhhh ... I almost giveup..and am now trying very slowly to handle this...

Back to our two celebrities... I hope one day they find love again with each other.. but if they find other loves..than good for them too..All the best.

PEACE

World Peace

..as per now i have not announce my blogspot to anyone..still not confident yet..to accept comments..to write real issues.. hmm... soon very soooooooooon..

Anyway..Jimmy Walter was in town.. Who is he?..He is no superstar.. He is a billionaire whos trying to seek for justice..www.reopen911.org ..he claims that the whole 911 thing is a conspiracy from the American itself...hmm... if its true..no surprise..if its not true...then Walter is another kind of conspiracy.

Generally, Americans esp the mat salleh are very civilized, very pandai, very hightech...generally... and due to this wonderful God-gift they are either very baik hati or just pure devil...either way...is for recognition and for power... you do what i tell you to do..if you dont kill kill kill die die die... How do I know this... Hollywood of course...and also Tom Clancy and Star Wars and CNN... Everything for me is created, planted with nice phrases and of course money money money... Undoubtfully they have the power.. and they're slowly and surely trying to conquer the world , maybe not physically... mind.

But the real problem is not the American, the Israelis, the Jews, the Nazis, the Communists, the Japs, the Vietkong,the Polpot, the Muslim bombers... the real problem is God..WHAT!!!..nolah God is not the problem...everything that had happen is due to what He has written in THE BOOK...at the end of the day..justice will prevail...How??... what goes around comes back aroundlah...thats why the earth is round.. you do bad things it'll come back sooner or later so is when you do good things...

Yalah... at present why the American/ Israelis so powerful is because Number One: they hate the Muslim. Number Two: Muslim - dont unite. when allllll Muslim unite..than they are afraid so now they're trying their utmost best to make every Muslim to fight each other, cause when Muslim unite.. no money can influence them.

Everyone is waiting for this unity...and wonder will it ever happen..they are few attempts..for example from my beloved country to make the Muslim unite...but not sure weather is good enough..for a start its goodlah but the result God knows.

Historically, the Arabs have always been fighting... they like to fight...and all this Mat Salleh blood also comes from this Arablah...its already in them..( well. originally all of us pun comes from ADAM also..but the Mat Salleh is the nearest descendant ) they love War so much..but the bad thing about War nowadays are they dont care anymore ... woman, kids, elderly...kill kill kill die die die...and THAT i cannot accept..that is PURE violent...

So back to Jimmy Walter, I wish it is true that the whole thing is being setup ( its exactly like Tom Clancy's novel ) it was not the Arab that attack the WTC... but how to prove..even if it is proven... everybody has died.. unless all of them goes to that gal that talk to the ghost and do them a favor..then everybody will be happy...even the dead will be happy..how wonderful..happy ending..just like all Hollywood shows...give us all the fantasies and hope.. I dont despise Hollywood..i'm drawn into it too...

Errr.. so back to Jimmy Walter again...what is he trying to do is blaming his own fellowman on what happen..worth it?..hmm..would I do that if my own people do the same evil thing.. i am still thinking what is the conspiracy behind this conspiracy behind this conspiracy, behind this Jimmy Walter.....Cannot think..because we're not as 'pandai' as them...i mean I am not that 'pandai'..
even if i take PHD... I wont be able to figure about all this ' behind' thingy..

So.. KISS...keep it simple and short... 1. Anyone who even bomb anyone..is .. BAD 2. Try very best to support WORLD PEACE ( for the sake of our children ) 3.UNITE ( arguments only thru discussion )

..I told my other half .. the Indonesians Muslim will be the strongest Muslim in the world..after all the TEST from GOD..they can survive anything...

PEACE

FIFA

..Makan bola, Tidur Bola, Mandi bola...

This football craze has unite the world to talk about the football topic, even for those who dont watch and not interested will ask people the next morning who scores , whats the result. The problem with us Malaysians is we usually have to make an effort to stay up at night till morning to watch THE WORLD CUP as most of the games venue is in Europe. When they had in Japan Korea at least canlah watch during the day..and during the day pulak office hours ..so for the football fans they had to take leave to watch football. So same...Football during the day ke, during the night ke, this event will 'encourage' people to not go to work. or go to work..and 'dream'.

But I personally feel that Malaysians are not sooo fanatic over it, we can still behave while watching football anywhere we are, compared to the Europeans, some are capable to act violent towards the other team supporters. Last season a referee was shot dead just because he was not fair to the Italian team. imagine how fanatic. Underdogs are always the favourite one, if they win, and when the more high rank team lose to them fuhhh malu besar, and they will like kena kutuk big time.

The World Cup fever is actually very entertaining. boys and girls get together at mamak restaurant 24jam ( their sales can shoot up 200%) or any gerai that has small screen, big screen tv.. sure have spectators. The only bad thing about it, is when some bets with a huge amount of money...

Im trying to watch as many games as I could but for this first few days it end up football watching me.. hehe..

Wonder wonder stevie wonder - when can our team qualified for the world cup..can aah..ever..God knows..

Makan bola Tidur bola Mandi bola

First time blogging phobia

You know what im worried of when i actually decided to do this blog thingy.. worried weather I spell correctly or not ( well of course i can spell check or somethin') but still..and then my grammar..my past tense, present tense, future tense and the way i convey my messages, my thoughts or feelings. Felt just wanna cut and paste from somewhere and claim that I wrote this...like that...even though I write in Bahasa Malaysia I'd do the same unseen errors of such. ( if anyone said..u no good in english than write in bahasalah)..

But..after think think think (see...these thingslah...should b "after all the thinking' or thoughts ) ..and after a few months browsing and reading examples of other people blogs that 'belasah aje' what they want to write...no matter how 'erroric' ( hehe ) is the grammar . I'd say aahh.. bantai ajelah nak tulis apa.. while I still accept comments ( of what I worried of ) and will learn more and more to improve. I am not the type yang argumentative tak tentu pasal - well err.. unless i mengada-ngada with my other half...

ok..for a start, heres an anecdotes from readers digest1972 ( fuhhh lama tu )..[this one bukan cut and paste..have to type back ) hehe

A farmer brought his brother to see the psychiatrist. " My brother,"he explained, "thinks he's a hen."
"Really," said the psychiatrist, "and how long has he been thinking on those lines?"
"For about four months,"replied the farmer.
"And you did nothing about it?"
"No, Doctor."
"Thats too bad. Why in the name of all that's reasonable, didn't you bring him to see me sooner?"
"Well, to tell you the truth. Doctor, we needed the eggs."

You Learn I learn

My heart beats 34 years of my life and I learn that..
I am what I am
I cannot become like my father or mother although genetically some attitude is in my blood, I cannot become like my idol, my mentor, my friend...
..and to the people I call family... I learn that I must have their blessings in whatever I sincerely pursue to accommodate my wish and desire .. Your bless can light up my life and I MUST pray for the well-being of my loved ones everyday and I MUST love them sincerely and as much as I could no matter how they are presently and they will turn out in future.. Somehow or rather they shaped me...
as I am what I am..To all the people I acquainted with and to all my friends.. I critically learn that...
It is okay to talk to your trusted friends when you're feeling down..That a real friend don't change their attitude ( not their thinking ) even if they touched the moon or they sink in a deep hole. I then learn to accept criticsm with open mind and do not retaliate without thinking and unwisely condemning others... Apologize whenever possible and admit my mistakes charmingly...I cannot do things alone in this world.. Even if I have all the money in the world...
I must not expect any return when I give..Sincerely that is..And avoid people that I am not fond of and act accordingly to others . I believe what goes around comes back around..
..And my ultimate learning valve is....
..Have faith, never regret the past...Not too worry to much about the future .. Plan... Anyways everything is in HIS hand..Take it as it comes...As blessing may be in disguise and that is why we must pray for HIS blessing everyday...
AND....Whatever, whenever ,wherever, however I do and whomever I deal with...Every single second I MUST remember ALLAH and RASULULLAH will always be at my side..
..And if I lived another 34 years I will have longer list or same list with different perceptions, wordings, intentions and as for now I am still struggling to learn what I learnt... And it is more than just this..

" Power of Concentration is a laser beam to your obstacle towards your dream" Tim Robbins