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June 18, 2006

Que Sera Sera


..Andddddd after marriage...u have to have kids right, sooner or later...and this one pulak you have to actually plan when and how many..Well they say first baby don't plan, afraid it would take you too long to have it..
Ahhh.. Well...in our society again...marriage is one issue..having kids is another issue..when you get married and you dont have kids...people will ask..when when when...if u stay in urban areas and have less erderly or relatives to lias with don't no problem , no questions demand to be answered. Buttt if you are living in those society and work in those society then you will hear assumptions, suggestions, unthoughtful questions. Undeniably, theres people who care and offered help. Up to you to accept it or not. If u dont agree with whatever around you say then just ignore and smile. No point arguing..mainly because when you're not married than people ask or they say they pray one day you will get married ( they meant well ) you become sensitive about it and then when you dont have kids yet and then same scenario, you become extra sensitive about it..then after that you end up loosing friend.. and you only befriended people who dont ask this questions...so no point arguing just act accordingly.
In my case, it took me 4 years to get pregnant, and I am actually very thankful for the time given by God for us to enjoy our life first before shouldering bigger commitments. As the baby came out, my whole life is totally a different scenario, much more challenging, higher stress level, problems ( this is due to our lack of planning - management issue again ). Suddenly no friend, no relative..Tired, temperimental... I brought up my baby and now my babies myself, funny..nobody offered help..not complaining...my choice..but you know...' the society'. Cant afford to have a maid. If i were to bring my children to the playground I smile and speak to maids not moms unlike my childhood days. Maids is another national issue, will discuss later. There are moms who works so hard and leave the children with the maid, moms who dont work and leave her kids ( go out and have fun with friends as they couldnt face the fact that they have kids to take care of), moms who are sooo lucky that their mom wants to take care care of their kids, moms who let the older sibling to take care of her brother and sister and stuck to the internet at home ( like me hehe )..and a lot of other ways to take care of your OWN kids. I decided to write about this when I mingguan malaysia today and came across this issue http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2006&dt=0618&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Keluarga&pg=ke_02.htm about will you actually be happy when you have so many kids and hope that when they grow up they will take care of you. Moral of the story don't pamper your children and don't hope too much.
My point of view is..quality not quantity. I decided to stop having kids as per now until we earn like rm20000 a month then I can only have another one. if not..no way. I am very proud of myself to actually take care of my own kids and see them grow. Do the best that I can to make them become a normal human being. But with all the technology nowadays that can easily influence our kids, you never know. Therefore parents have to prepare themself when they get older and dont hope so much that your children will take care of you when you are alone, old, and sick. If they do..than Thank God. Parents have to have enough money to pay others to take care of themselves, just incase. Meanwhile pray for kesejahteraan anak-anak..so that in future they appreciate you and never stop loving you, no matter what kind of person you will be when you're older..you know..grumpy, sick, senile...
Nowadays they're certain society that sent their folks at the..old folks home... while the children work, migrate etc etc..and I cannot accept that.. I pray that I wont act like that to my parents, now Im a parent I understand how they feel..it is sad..sad..to be taken care by others you barely knew.


PEACE

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