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October 23, 2007


- got this email from a friend krista from michigan..amusement of reality babe ;-)

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you
can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits
and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering
vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a MIXED GRILL can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you
get even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one
to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry.
My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little
soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may
have had about food and diets. And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways
- Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up,
otally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"




Anonymous John F SeaDemon said...

Hahahahahaha...good one..I am posting this one on my blog. Thanks.

I feel good about myself already.

Tue Oct 23, 06:11:00 pm GMT+8  
Blogger neomesuff said...

hehe welkam..glad u feel good

Tue Oct 23, 08:00:00 pm GMT+8  
Blogger mad redo1 said...

woah! more reason for me to live in sins (permitted sins that is...)

Wed Oct 24, 03:20:00 am GMT+8  
Blogger N|i|N said...

Waaahhahaha....very funny. My personal fave, the 2nd last answer..."explain whale to me". :-D

Wed Oct 24, 11:55:00 am GMT+8  
Blogger neomesuff said...

mr1 - your kind of sins your choice heheee
NiN- but whales dont eat vegetables heheeeeeee

Wed Oct 24, 01:41:00 pm GMT+8  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like! i like!.....the choc bit is the best!...;)

Thu Oct 25, 10:44:00 pm GMT+8  
Blogger Kathie "Moomykin" Yeoh said...

Had to snuffle my laughter so I don't wake my sleeping babies. Good one for a good laugh!

Thanks. It completed my day. :)

Sun Oct 28, 01:52:00 am GMT+8  
Blogger neomesuff said...

azra- i lurveee chocs tooo....

khaty - shhhh.... read again later when they wake up..;-)

Sun Oct 28, 12:39:00 pm GMT+8  
Anonymous eylla said...

miss u much- janet J...

it really reminds me.......

Mon Oct 29, 09:29:00 am GMT+8  

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